Thursday, December 30, 2010

Troubled Kids are a blessing in disguise.

I know the title sounds like a weird post but as I've said before this is not just about being frugal but about those things I count as Life's Small Blessings.

I was taught growing up that "Lost Boys" were meant to be in my life. These were boys that were troubled or had issues.. That my mom always made a point to be there for. Dad would talk about Sandi and her "lost boys" and I never really understood why she did it until I became an adult.

I can say that now my husband says the same about me, even though he's just as caring about my" lost boys" as I am. And wouldn't have it any other way.

You see there are many different types of people in this world non of which are "normal". But there are so many troubled kids with the way the world is changing. These kids need love and understanding, they need time with adults that show they care and can mentor them and show them it's okay to care.  These kids may seem like a bunch of trouble, they are normally undisciplined, have attention issues, and are basically unruly in every way. Most people shy away from these kids or say that they should just go away.

Not us. These children are a blessing that most people underestimate. Most do not freely give hugs, smiles or good words, so when you receive that I truly feel you are receiving a blessing. Taking a little time out of your day, a day or more a week to spend time with a child who needs a little extra love and care won't hurt you.... it will heal you.  Corey and I have been blessed with 6 lost boys in our lives since we have been together. These boys have reminded us how to laugh at ourselves and how to share love and caring with people outside of our home. They have brought us smiles and laughter and knowledge along they way. They have also taught our children acceptence of other people.

Right now we are blessed with one young man in our life. He suffers from Turrets, attention disorder, and Bipolar to name a few. His teacher at school did not like him and most people shied away from him. He rode by our house one day on his bike and asked to help work in the garden, our friendship with him has grow leaps and bounds since then. This year not only did we spend family time with him working in the garden, just like we do with our kids, but he showed up as we were carving pumpkins and though his hand shakes, between him and I we got the extra pumpkin carved and he was so happy. I don't think I've ever seen such a big smile! Since then his mother has asked us a few times if he could hang out with us while she ran errands that are hard on him to deal with. This has been a blessing to her those few hours of calm.  Supporting a single mom is a blessing to me because I've been there and the help I received was always needed and welcomed.

Corey has worked with him on how to be a man, it's good to hug your mom, please and thank you's matter. And guys do say your sorry. When our guy had an issue at home and punched some drywall he came here to calm down. Corey talked him through it and offered to show him how to repair the damage he had done.  We try to teach as we go. Yesterday, I spent an hour showing him how to care for and touch the animals in our terrarium. The laughter I heard when Hop jumped from wall to another was wonderful.  He has helped Rose with homework, showed Colty how to throw a football and helped Kyera fill buckets of wood chips outside.

I can't say it's always easy dealing with a "Lost Boy" And there are times when we have to explain to our kids that certain behaviors that they have are not acceptable, but our kids have enjoyed and learned from these young men also. They have learned acceptance and understanding along with patience. 

We don't go looking for our lost boys, they just show up on our doorstep... we love each one unconditionally for the amount of time they are in our lives.

  We are always careful and on the look out with them because of the issues they have. And we never leave them alone with our kids or in our house, we are cautious along the way.

But so far the blessings have way out weighed the burdens.
I'm not saying go out and find yourself a lost boy or girl, but next time you see that troubled kid, think more about them, their issues may not be of their making but of those in their lives and if they stop and talk to you, take a moment out of your day, give them a smile, and truly talk to them. You never know it may be the start of a friendship you never thought you'd have... It may just be a blessing in your life.

Every lost boy I have met over the years has a special place in my heart and they always will.


  1. Thank you! I felt the need to post something about this but was woied I couldn't say it right...